| |
| |
|
Parenting Information |
|
|
|
Spare the Child, Ditch the Rod
Spare the rod, spoil the child! This philosophy's been around a long time. In fact, a study done by Zero to Three, anonprofit child-development group, found that 61percent of the adults who responded, condonespanking as a regular form of punishment. Thepercentage of parents who actually use spanking isbelieved to be much higher. And when my five year old son's behavior wentbeyond annoying a few days ago, I felt inclined tojoin the majority, and swat him to "teach him alesson." Most parents reach this point with their kids. Youfeel as though you can't take any more of what yourkids are dishing out. It usually happens whenyou're tired, stressed, and overdone. So what are your choices when you reach this point? Spanking certainly can take care of things quickly,and can temporarily change your kids behavior. Butthere are many reasons to question the practice ofspanking your kids. Here are five of them: 1. Do you really want your kids to be afraid of you? Kids will sometimes obey more readily when they'reafraid of you. Is this what you really want? Whathappens when they're six feet two and two hundredpounds? Effective parenting is based on love andrespect, not fear. 2. Spanking shows your kids that you lack self-control The huge majority of spanking incidents come whena parent is angry. What is quite clear to yourchild is this: when my Dad or Mom gets angry, theyhit me. And when the same child hits his sisterwhen he gets angry, do you demand that he showsbetter self-control? Something's wrong with this picture. You teach your kids best through your own actions. 3. You may breed resentment and anger in your kids Kids who are spanked usually don't learn a greatdeal about "correcting" their misbehavior. Theydon't usually sit in their rooms and say,"Gosh, I can really see after getting spanked thatI was wrong. I'll do better now." They do thinkabout how angry their Dad or Mom is, and they candevelop a good deal of resentment for theirparents. 4. Spanking shows your kids that "might makes right" Adults make mistakes in their lives too, right?Can we use our imaginations, and visualize what it wouldbe like for someone four times our size to pick usup, and swat us on the butt? What would we learnfrom that? Would we feel any injustice? You canbet your kids are feeling some. 5. Spanking isn't effective in the long run Parents who are asked why they spank will reportthat they use it to "teach their kids a lesson,"or so they won't misbehave again. Many kids whoare spanked will go underground with theirmisbehavior, and become more cunning to avoid beingcaught. (Wouldn't you?) If you're spanking yourkids fairly often, doesn't this show that it's notworking very well? Kids who are spanked occasionally aren't ruined for life. But spanking isn't necessary to discipline a child. There are countless examples of disciplined and responsible young people who were never spanked by their parents. Parents who don't spank their kids use time outs,re-directing, or distracting with their kids. They can pick their kids up and let them cool down, orsimply leave the area themselves, so they don'tdo something they'd regret later. While these methods aren't always perfect, theyhelp to form the foundation of a certain kind ofhousehold: One in which violence is not "taught"as a means to better behavior. After all, we live in a world that's filled withviolence. Can't we provide a place for our kids where thereisn't any? Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC, coaches men to be better fathers and husbands. He is the author of "25 Secrets of Emotionally Intelligent Fathers" http://www.markbrandenburg.com/father.htmFor more great tips and action steps for fathers, sign up for his FREE bi-weekly newsletter, "Dads, Don't Fix Your Kids," at http://www.markbrandenburg.com
MORE RESOURCES:
Parenting - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Ten Terrific Ideas for Rainy Day Fun It's been raining for a week and the kids and bored and restless. How do you cure those rainy day blahs? Try some of these parent tested and kid approved ideas and your children will be hoping for another rainy day when the sun finally peaks through. Puberty - Get Ready to Play the Puberty Game Puberty can be a difficult time for children. Not quite kids anymore and not really adolescents they are caught in the middle in type of limbo. Raising Happy Diabetic Kids Part III Help Your Child Develop Self-Control This is the third and final article in a series I wrote about raising happy diabetic kids. While Juvenile Diabetes makes this job tougher the information in these articles applies to raising any child. What is Incest? Incest is sexual activity, ranging from fondling to intercourse, between family members who aren't married to one another. State laws vary regarding the type of sexual activity and also on what constitutes the type of kinship that indicates incest rather than just sexual abuse. Parenting Univeristy: Potty Training 101 When your child shows signs of potty training readiness, it's time to purchase some essential potty training items. There are many new products which can help to make potty training quick and easy for both you and your child. How to Create an Emotional Bond with Your Child One of the most powerful tools that parents have for raising their children is the natural emotional bond that exists between them and their child. Children who feel close to their parents will have a strong desire to obey them. Promoting Your Childs Heart Health Cardiovascular endurance is one of the five health-related components of physical fitness. It refers to the ability of the heart and lungs to supply oxygen and nutrients to the muscles. Spare the Child, Ditch the Rod Spare the rod, spoil the child!This philosophy's been around a long time.In fact, a study done by Zero to Three, anonprofit child-development group, found that 61percent of the adults who responded, condonespanking as a regular form of punishment. Homeschooling - Can I Do It? Many parents would like to homeschool their children but are afraid they don't have the training or ability to be their children's teacher. This is certainly understandable, because most parents never had any formal training to be a teacher. Cyber Parenting 101 Many parental units are not "techies" and openly admit theyare not. They seem to use that as an excuse to not beinformed and "trust" their children to do what is right inan environment that is clearly risky. What Might Surprise You About Childhood Obesity The formula is pretty straightforward: energy in/energy out. This is the term nutritionists use to describe the intended balance between calories consumed and calories burned. Develop Your Childs Genius - Right Brain/Left Brain Coordination No matter how old your children are, you have an immense power to affect their growth, development and success in life. By actively pursuing activities that contribute to the better development of their brain, you provide them with an advantage over all other kids, and increase their chances to be successful in life. Bring On The Music To Help Your Child Learn Faster And More Effectively Do you remember how you first learned the alphabet? I am quite sure that the majority of us learnt it by singing the ABC Song: 'ABCDEFG-HIJKLMNOP-QRS-TUV-WXY-and-Z.. How to Talk to Your Kids About Suicide: New Study Says it May Make Them Less Likely to Consider It! This year alone, 1,600 teenagers aged 15 to 19 will die from committing suicide. Suicide among kids, once a rarity, is now a growing concern in America, and it appears that one of the best ways to keep your kids from doing it is to be a nosy parent. Saying No To Our Children Saying no to our children is not always easy or pleasant. Sometimes it is very hard work and we don't want to face the struggle. Children are People, Not Machines When growing up, my father frequently reminded me to "pay attention to the details." That saying became very real to me in the area of parenting. How to Raise Creative Kids "Where did he come up with that?" Kids often amaze us with their imaginative ideas, and we should give ourselves a pat on the back for playing a role in this development. Innovative thinking is essential for success in school and in life, and it's our job as parents to nurture our kids' innate desire to be creative. Breastfeed a Toddler - Why? Is your baby approaching his or her first birthday and you're considering weaning?The American Academy of Pediatrics currently recommends that "breastfeeding continue for at least 12 months, and thereafter for as long as mutually desired."If you and your baby are still enjoying the nursing experience, why not take a look at some of the advantages of nursing beyondthat first year?1) Immunological BenefitsContrary to popular belief, mother's milk does not have an expiration date!Your baby continues to receive all the benefits of human milk for as long as he is nursing. Toilet Terrors And Other Potty Training Fears Potty training fears, often called toilet terrors, are common among toddlers and small children. Look at things from your child's perspective. A Quiz for Parents: What Are They REALLY Learning? Picture this. Your child comes home with a special assignment from school.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
