| |
| |
|
Parenting Information |
|
|
|
Attaboy! Encouraging Phrases That Build Confidence
Home, home on the range, Oh, that would be wonderful but most parents and bosses tend to feel that criticism and pointing out what is wrong will make others want to do what is right. However, people cannot improve unless they feel good enough about themselves to believe they are capable of improvement. An encouraging parent stops using negative comments about a child and uses methods, words and actions that indicate a respect for the child and a faith in his abilities. Jack Canfield of Chicken Soup for the Soul fame often cites a study done by some graduate students who followed a normal group of two-year olds around for a day. These average kids from average homes received 432 negative statements as opposed to 32 positive statements daily. The teachers, aides and other children were constantly saying, "Don't touch that." "No, it is done this way" "No, you are not big enough." The national PTO (Parent teacher Organization) found the ratio of praise to criticism of school age children to be 18 negative to each positive. It is such automatic action to state things in the negative; we have to learn the words to use in encouraging our children. Encouragement is the process of focusing on your children's assets and strengths in order to build their self-confidence and feelings of worth. I like to think of the word encourage broken into "en" courage meaning I am giving you the gift of courage. Inherent in that gift is the idea that it is okay to take risks and perhaps even to fail, but to go ahead and try it anyway. We need to convey though words and gestures that we appreciate their efforts and improvement not just their accomplishments. We need to make sure they understand that our love and acceptance is not dependent on their behavior or winning the prize in soccer. Here is a list of 15 encouraging words and phrases that will assist your child to keep trying and increase his self-esteem and confidence. 1. "I like the way you handled that"2. "Wow, you really thought out the solution to that problem"3. "I have faith in your ability"4. "I appreciate what you did"5. "You are really showing improvement"6. "I know you will figure out a good way to do it next time"7. "You don't have to be perfect. Effort and improvement are important."8. "I trust you to be responsible"9. "It must make you proud of yourself when you accomplish something like that"10. "You are a valuable part of the team"11. "It is okay to make a mistake, we all do. What do you think you learned from it?"12. "How can we turn this into a positive?"13. "I'm proud of you for trying"14. "I'll bet by next year you will be able to handle it, you just need to grow a little"15. "I know you are disappointed that you didn't win, but you'll do better next time." Good luck in your efforts to be more positive and encouraging to those around you. Your children, family and employees will be grateful and will rise to your expectations. You do an important work. © 2004 Judy H. Wright, Parent Educator, author and international speaker. Please go to www.ArtichokePress.com for a full line of books, workshops and cd's on parenting, as well as FREE e-zine, Artichoke-finding the heart of the story in the journey of life. Judy H. Wright,Parent and family educator, author, international speaker and personal historianlocated in beautiful Missoula, Montanaphone: 406-549-9813 Email: JudyWright@ArtichokePress.comFor FREE reports and ezine subscribtion, please go to:http://www.ArtichokePress.com
MORE RESOURCES:
Parenting - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Celebrating Life with Children in September Here are ten simple pleasures you can enjoy with your children this month.1. What You Should Know About Counseling for Attention Deficit Disorder At the ADHD Information Library we are big believers that you should not just be giving a child with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder medication without also providing some sort of counseling or therapy. There are good, long-term studies that show that medication by itself over the long term is not a whole lot better than no treatment at all (Satterfield, et. How Children Learn Nurture and TeachThe single most important thing caregivers can do for a child is provide a nurturing environment. By doing this, we influence children's brain development and their ability to learn. Dexedrine, Cylert, and Adderall in the Treatment of ADHD Dexedrine is not prescribed very often for the treatment of ADHD out here in California, but those patients that we've seen on it have done well. Typically it is prescribed to patients who have not responded to Ritalin very well. Raise Your Child to Be a Leader Not a Follower Your child's leadership skills begin at the family dinner table. In this day of working moms and fast food eating, sitting down together for dinner is sometimes neglected. Does Sexual Abuse Usually Occur Just Once? Your daughter tells you that Uncle Charley has touched her bottom and she doesn't like to sit on his lap anymore! Should you believe your child? Yes.Your initial reaction is to confront Uncle Charley, who tells you that your child is making it up and even if it did happen, he will never do it again. Children Cooperate When Appreciated Do you want your child to cooperate with you more?Children are much more likely to cooperate with adults who like being with them and who let them know they are worthwhile. This builds a level of trust and a feeling of safety. Positive Parenting of Teenagers: Helping Your Teen Understand What I Cant Afford It Means Because most teens have not had the experience of getting to the end of the money before the end of the month, the words, ``I can't afford it,'' have little or no meaning.Here's what can happen in lots of homes:``Mom, can I get a new (fill in the blank)?''``No, honey, I'm sorry, but we can't afford it. Hearing Our Seriously Distressed Adolescents The distressed adolescent often has feelings of abandonment, emotional detachment, withdrawal, and isolation. These children begin to develop an intense anger directed towards an adult society that they feel has hurt them and does not understand them. Study Skills - Help Young People Study Smarter, Not Harder Many young people don't know how to study efficiently and effectively. By knowing how to study students maximize their time, improve their learning and also reduce stress. Gifted Children - Getting the Balance Right One of the challenges for parents with a gifted child is to encourage them to develop a range of interest outside the academic sphere that not only rounds them out but stops them from being isolated from their peersGifted children are a diverse group of kids who are talented in specific areas such as mathematics, language, sport or music. Some gifted kids are mutli-talented excelling in a variety of areas. Top Ten Things My Six Year-Old Son Has Taught Me (So Far...) I've learned numerous, important lessons on life, motherhood and men by being the mommy of a little boy.. How A Home Water Filter Can Reduce Your Child's Risk Of Learning Disabilities Lead is one of the most dangerous toxins a person can be exposed to in his lifetime. Besides damage from radioactive or nuclear chemicals, significant exposure to lead can cause some of the most severe and even fatal health effects possible. Examining Drugs for ADHD, Particularly Strattera In memory of 14 year old Matthew Smith; 11 year old Stephanie Hall; and 10 year old Shaina Dunkle and other children who have died from the use of psychotropic drugs for "ADHD".The Eli Lilly company has been marketing a new drug for those who are labeled as ADHD known as Strattera. Your Big Yellow Bus The big yellow school bus is coming down my road again. The neighborhood kids seem happy. What To Do When You Think Your Child Might Have AD/HD AD/HD (attention deficit disorder) is one of the most common mental health disorders seen in childhood. Studies estimate that between 3-7% of all children have AD/HD: approximately 2 million children in the USA alone, or one child in every classroom. Working Moms vs. Stay-at-Home Moms, Lets Stop Debating Each Other and Debate the System Instead! I could nearly fund my children's future education if I received money every time I've heard a woman say, "I wish I could afford to stay at home full time." Sometimes you can recognize a few working women making this statement to avoid judgment from the stay-at-home parenting world (and they shouldn't feel this way). Discipline Discipline is a necessary part of parenting yet it makes most parents feel uncomfortable. Some of those old disciplinary phrases such as 'spare the rod and spoil the child', 'teach them a lesson' or 'set children straight' are enough to send shivers up the spine of any reasonable-minded parent. Parenting Your Teenager: The 4 Ds of Time with Family How would you like to have more time? Of course we all want more time. There are just two problems: 1. Labor of Love The small, lilac colored hexagonal box, with Winnie the Pooh on the lid, brings to mind healthy babies and happy times. But not all babies are born healthy and not all deliveries are happy occasions.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
