| |
| |
|
Parenting Information |
|
|
|
How To Live With Your Teenagers Untidy Room
'Whose room is it anyway?' If you have a teenager, you're no doubt familiar with the warcry of independence: 'It's my room and I should be allowed to do as Iplease.' You hear the aggrieved voice, but for the life of you, youcan't see beyond
Your spirits plummet as you prepare to join battle yet again. But let's stop for a moment and take stock. Do we really need to create a fuss? We all know adolescence is a time of change. The desire forindependence is strong - yet the adolescent is still very dependent, especially where finance is concerned. There's a subconscious need for rebellion during this phase:our children feel a need to kick against the goad; to throwoff the shackles of childhood; to explore and develop thisstrange, often threatening personality. That's why at around the age of thirteen our kids 'disappear' from the family circle and spend much of theirtime in their rooms. It's like taking to the hills, a way of retreating from the old folks and their 'naff' conversations, values and ideals. The Untidy Room Syndrome states loudly and clearly, 'I want to do things MY WAY, not yours!' So the music blares, the scraps of food fester - as would the unwashed clothes, if you let them! Only a privileged few receive an invite to the inner sanctum. The rest make do with: 'Get out of my room!' MY room? We parents provide every home comfort. We pay the mortgage.We pay the bills. We do the laundering. Yet we're told, 'Get out of MY room'! Let's laugh it off! (While insisting on common courtesy, of course). Growing kids need their space, a safe haven where they can'chill out'. So what about the mess? What stance should we take on that? Well, let's remember the mess is part of the rebellion. We keep the rest of the home tidy, don't we? Then turn a blind eye (with one exception, which we'll come to in a moment). Yes, turn a blind eye! If they want to scatter their CDs and magazines and clothes in glorious chaos, let them. They're in a controlled, safe environment, after all - the family home. They're not trashing the town, like so many others. No, let them get the rebellion out of their systems. Good news: it will only last a few years. And hard experience will teach them the lessons they need tolearn. 'Oops! My CD's don't play so well when they're scratchedand dusty.' 'I'm fed up looking for things and not finding them. There has to be a better way!' Let's encourage our kids to keep a tidy room - but leave the details to them. So what about that exception? Lay down the law - with a sledge hammer if necessary! - whenit comes to matters of health and hygiene. If you do the laundering and your kids expect cleanclothes, then insist they pick up the items to be washed and put them in the laundry basket. If they leave scraps of food and half-drunk cups of coffee, insist they clear them away. Explain why you're taking this line. There's no convincing objection they can raise! Insist they make a clearance for whoever does the vacuumingand dusting. Apart from that, take a step back. If they can happily livein the chaos, you can happily leave them to it. Relax. Bide your time. The fires of rebellious youth will splutter and fizzle, and it will all come right in the end. Happy Parenting! Why do some parents and children succeed, while othersfail?Frank McGinty is an internationally published author andteacher. His writing includes children's fiction andmotivational books for both teenagers and parents.If you want to further develop your parenting confidence and encourage your kids to be all they can be, visit his web pages, http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html AND http://www.frank-mcginty.com/for-parents.html
MORE RESOURCES:
Interaction of Parenting Experiences and Brain Structure in the ... - Archives of General Psychiatry
Parenting - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
How to Take Charge of the TV Many children enjoy TV, and they can learn from it. Keep inmind, though, that young children often imitate what theysee, good or bad. Non-Compliance in Your Children, Some Tips for Parents Non-compliance is the family therapist's big word for your child not obeying you when you have asked him or her to do something. It is helpful because it is descriptive, and because it may also motivate us as parents to move our kids from being non-compliant to being compliant. Building Your Childs Self-Esteem According to researchers, most children enter school with a good sense of self-esteem (at least as defined by psychologists) and yet leave high school with a poor sense of self-esteem. What happens in those years between starting school and finishing school? If we are to define self-esteem as "having feelings of worth or value," then people with adequate levels of self-esteem should display a sense of realistic confidence in their abilities and performance. Childhood Obesity & Parents Healthy Food Confusion Many parents struggle to know which foods are healthy for their children. When they are able to opt for healthy choices, about two-thirds struggle to get their children to eat healthily, a poll of nearly 800 parents found. Parenting Your Teenager: Of Course You Can Search Your Teens Room Q. We recently caught our son smoking pot, and we wonder whether he's doing more stuff. How to Make a Time Capsule Looking for an unusual and memorable gift? Why not preserve a slice of history by creating a time capsule for your loved one?A personalized time capsule can be made for any special event, such as a birthday, wedding anniversary, graduation or even the birth of a child. Your personally designed time capsule preserves history, popular culture, special memories and can help link generations of a family together. Social Engineering via Robotic Toddlers Is there a way to build a robot to help toddlers and pre-schoolers learn proper social behavior without the parents intervention? A robotic friend so to speak; one, which will play with the child and explore colors and shapes. Perhaps build legos? Now before you say I am wacked, let's discuss this. Parenting Secrets Revealed So your little Susie wants to join a competitive gymnastic club? You conclude that this is going to be great fun! Maybe, you even think this is just the ticket your bouncy little girl needs to get rid of her pent-up energy while meeting other little friends. Initially, all seems well as you proudly watch your Susie happily striving to achieve equilibrium success. Homeschooling - Can I Do It? Many parents would like to homeschool their children but are afraid they don't have the training or ability to be their children's teacher. This is certainly understandable, because most parents never had any formal training to be a teacher. When Parents Disagree Moms and dads, are there times you think that parenting would be easier if you didn't have to make family decisions? Having a partner that is not in agreement with your parenting ideas or discipline approaches is more than just frustrating. It can be a cause of division in even the best of relationships. Busy Moms, Dont Forget to Take Time Out for You! As mothers, we play so many different roles and most of us do not take the time off that we deserve. Just think about it, we play doctor, cook, chauffeur, teacher, lawyer, and the occasional referee as well. How Public Schools Lie to Parents and Betray Our Children Under the "No Child Left Behind Act," public schools whose students consistently fail standardized tests can now be shut down. To protect their jobs, teachers and principals are now under intense pressure to cheat - to fudge test scores and report cards to fool parents and school administrators. Adoption: Laughter and Tears If you ever walk through an orphanage, it will be an experience you'll never forget. Witnessing children in poverty, children discarded, children stunted both physically and emotionally, will stir your heart beyond belief. How NOT to Motivate Your Children and Students Chaim Ginott was a schoolteacher whose ideas and observations helped to bring about a near revolution in the way teachers interact with their young charges. He later practiced as a psychologist. Childrens Safety in Public Places - 10 Useful Tips My kids ask me all the time to take them to playgrounds or any other public place. I can't help to think that the risk involved in this is greater than we are often aware of. Who Will Be Their Guardian? If you are like most people today, you do not have a will. Thereasons for this failure are many, with the most common being along the lines of "I don't have enough assets to worry about", "I don't know how to write a will", or "Lawyers charge a lot of money". Your Checking Account Checking accounts are an absolute necessity these days. You can either have a checking account or run to the bank or other outlet for money orders. What Is Homeschooling And How Do I know If Its Right For My Family? Do you know what these famous people have in common?Alexander Graham BellGeorge PattonAlbert EinsteinBenjamin FranklinWinston ChurchillAgatha ChristieGeorge Bernard ShawWill RogersIf you guessed that they were all homeschoolers, you'd be correct. This is a very short list of famous and successful people who were educated at home. A New Idea For Kids Party Parties: Hiring A Caricaturist Can Make Your Kids Party A Real Blast! There's a new trend for party entertainment. It seems as though Caricature art is the way to go. Simple Tricks To Help You And Your Kids To Find Friends One of the most prevalent problems of the computer age is isolation and loneliness. In order to build and maintain relationships there are a number of simple skills, which can be learned, to enhance the opportunity to find and keep friends.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
