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Parenting Information |
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Your Kids Career - Whose Choice?
A strange thing happened to me today. Or more precisely, astrange thought occurred. You see, my eldest sonhelped me install a new kitchen. He was the expert handyman.Me? Well, I was the 'gofor'. "Dad, could you go forthis?" "Dad, will you go for that . . ." And you know, it took me back to my childhood. I used tostand by MY dad's side, helping him mend this and buildthat. What a pride I took in those days, holding a plank ofwood at one end while he measured it, or going into histoolbox to fetch a bigger screwdriver. The master and theapprentice! Yet despite all my admiration, I never quite mastered thesecrets of DIY. In my own house, I muddle through jobs asbest I can, or just leave them undone. Occasionally I'llsend for a tradesman. Yet somehow I raised a son who, like his Grandad, can turnhis hand to anything - while I STILL stand and watch! This particular creative talent managed to skip ageneration, only to re-emerge with a flourish in my boy. There lies the crux of this article. We each discover our own talents, leanings, and strongpoints. As a teacher I hear so many kids complain abouttheir parents, who - with the best will in the world! -force their kids into curriculum choices or career pathswhich say more about the parents and theiraspirations. Why do so many of us insist on directing, or evendictating, career choices for our kids? Many possible reasons spring to mind:
Talk about a recipe for disaster! Trying to live our own lives through our kids tendsto fill them with resentment. Go along this path and we'llsoon encounter a breakdown in relationships, and our kidswill seethe with unhappiness and a lack of fulfilment. Sometimes our children may even go along with our wishesbecause they want to please. They feel grateful for allwe've done and don't want to disappoint us. The outcome herecan be even more insidious: if a child or young personlacks one hundred per cent commitment to the path we choosefor them, it can manifest itself in low achievement,depression and even physical illness. What a waste of everyone's time, energy, talents andresources! On the other hand, we do want to guide them, don'twe? We instinctively know we should give them thebenefit of our experience. So how do we go about it? The key lies in ENCOURAGEMENT. From the earliest possible age, encourage your child to beconfident, positive, and optimistic. And observe them in all they do. Cherish their uniqueness,and enjoy seeing their individual talents unfold. Avoid forcing any issues; concentrate on encouraging growthand development, even if - especially if! - their talentstake them along a road unfamiliar to you. Often, what aparent least expects develops into a major plus in theirchild. Strive for open and unbiased expectations. If ballet dancinginterests your child, encourage him or her to research thatactivity, try it out, and make a confident, realisticappraisal - don't try to force them into medicine or the lawinstead! In high school some teachers encourage kids to make theircurriculum choices to suit future career aspirations. Butthis stresses many unsure kids. My advice has borne fruitover the years: "Choose what you're best at and whatyou enjoy most. The rest will take care of itself!"And it does. Again, encourage confidence and optimism.Because today and in the future, most of our kids will notenjoy the luxury previous generations enjoyed - a job forlife. Our kids need adaptability in order to face changewillingly and without fear. By encouraging them to follow their hearts, we can do muchto help them. Happy parenting! Why do some parents and children succeed, while othersfail?
MORE RESOURCES:
Interaction of Parenting Experiences and Brain Structure in the ... - Archives of General Psychiatry
Parenting - Google News |
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