| |
| |
|
Parenting Information |
|
|
|
Parenting Styles - Overcoming Your Differences
If you spend any time in the parenting section of the library or your local bookstore, you will find hundreds of books on disciplining and raising your children. All the leading experts have their own ideas about what works and what doesn't. As a parent, you have your philosophy that you bring to the table. Most of your thoughts come from what you learned as a child. You either liked the way your parents raised you, agreed with some of it and disagreed with the rest, or didn't like any part of your parents' ideas. Then you talk to or watch other mothers you know and these ideas get added to the mix. You take the best from all these sources and you set off to be the best mom you can be. And then something happens that interrupts your plan for raising your children. Dad has a whole other set of ideas and plans for raising his children. Most of the time, dad's ideas have not come from the many books on parenting he reads or the oodles of fathers he brainstorms with. His ideas, too, come from the way in which he was raised as a boy, but sometimes Dad operates on auto pilot when raising and disciplining his kids. Even the best and most agreeable parents sometimes disagree. So what do you do when your two philosophies clash? 1. Talk it out when the children are not around. You're in the middle of dinner, and the children are refusing to eat. They are crabby and testing your every nerve. Dad can see that you are stressed so he decides to take matters into his own hands. He yells with his loud, booming voice, "Eat your food right now or you will go straight to bed." The kids start crying. You are even angrier now because you can't stand yelling. You feel it is an ineffective way to discipline the children, and you believe it scares them. Wait until the children go to bed and have a talk with your husband. Explain to him exactly how you feel about yelling. Listen to his side of the story and why he chose to do what he did. Do your very best to understand him and acknowledge his feelings. Then decide together what would work better for everyone in the future. 2. Decide how important an issue is to you. My friend's husband takes his little girl to swimming lessons every Saturday morning. After swimming, the little girl is starving. Dad's way of ending their fun time together in the pool is to let his daughter pick something to eat from the vending machine. My friend does not want her daughter associating fun time with Dad and junk food. She believes they should come home so her daughter can eat something healthy. Sometimes each parent needs to decide how important an issue really is to them. If Dad rates his need to buy his daughter a junk food treat after swimming at an 8, and Mom rates her need for her daughter to eat healthy at a 6, then Dad wins. You learn to give in on issues that aren't extremely important to you. 3. Understand that differences can be good. Believe it or not, children can benefit from differences in our parenting styles. As long as children are being loved and treated with respect and fairness, it can be good for children to learn to adapt to different childrearing approaches. No two people in this world are exactly alike. Some parents are very flexible and some are quite structured. Some parents are playful and others are more serious. There are quiet and mild-mannered parents and loud and boisterous parents as well. Step back and appreciate your differences. Children who are exposed to diversity have a tendency to be better rounded and adaptable. 4. Combine your viewpoints and get on the same page. The single most important thing you can do for your children and for your marriage is to get on the same page when raising and disciplining your children. Being on the same page does not mean you necessarily agree on everything. It means you support one another as parents. If Mom says there are no privileges until homework is done, the rules are the same with Dad. If Dad says curfew is at 11:30 PM, then Mom enforces this curfew. Take the time to work through your differences and put together a plan that both of you can be happy with. Decide what the house rules are going to be and how the children will be disciplined when the rules are broken. Then stick together and provide a united front for the benefit of your children. Lori Radun, certified life coach for moms. Get her FREE monthly ezine for moms who want healthier and happier lives at http://www.true2youlifecoaching.com. © 2005 True to You Life Coaching, LLC
MORE RESOURCES:
Interaction of Parenting Experiences and Brain Structure in the ... - Archives of General Psychiatry
Parenting - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Defrazzle with Hug Therapy "Hugging is healthy: it helps the body's immunity system, it keeps you healthier, it cures depression, it reduces stress, it induces sleep, it's invigorating, it's rejuvenating, it has no unpleasant side effects, and hugging is nothing less than a miracle drug"UnknownSometimes life gets so hectic that our nerves are frazzled, our tempers are short, and we feel totally disconnected from those that are important to us.Want to know a simple way to fix that? Reach out and hug someone. Let Your Children Name the New Baby Choosing a baby name is an important job, so make your children feel important by letting them help you name the new baby. After all, you're not the only one who's having a baby - your whole family is ! Use the process of naming the baby as an opportunity to get your other children involved in and excited about their new brother or sister, and make the process fun. Frequently Asked Questions About Reading To Your Child Are you worried about your child's reading habits? Perhaps you feel he or she should be starting to read, but they have no interest in books whatsoever? I had the same problem with my son. Gosh, he would rather chew on 'The Big Book of Nursery Rhymes' than read a word from it! Here's a short list of questions which I find very relevant if you're concerned about your kids' reading habits. Teaching Reading: Part One One of the biggest milestones in our children's education is when they learn how to read. You've probably asked yourself, "When is the best time to teach my child to read?" You can research this until you are blue in the face, but the answer is really very simple. Remember The Generation Gap? The techniques of managing relationships between parents and their children is as old as.. Baptisms And Alternative Ways To Hold A Naming Ceremony Traditionally, babies have been named at a christening/baptism. Most still are, but increasingly parents are choosing an alternative, non-religious ceremony. EEG Biofeedback as a Treatment for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder In this form of treatment for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder the subject learns to pay attention to his own brain wave activity, and then apparently learns to change and control his brain wave activity. The subject is given immediate feedback on just what his brain's activity is like at any given moment through the use of high-speed computers which provide both auditory and visual feedback. Parenting Your Teenager: What Teens Say About Parents What's hard for teenagersHaving people who don't understand you trying to control you.Parents not understanding the things you have to deal with. Registering a Birth in Scotland Who Can Register A Birth? The child's mother or father should register the birth within 21 days. However, a father who is not married to the child's mother can only register a birth and be named on the birth certificate as the father if: he jointly signs the register with the mother, or a court has declared that he is the father, or the mother and he jointly sign a declaration available from the Registrar. Using Pocket-money To Promote Independence In Kids In seminars I am often asked about pocket-money and whether it should be earned or only given when children behave well.My belief is that children should receive pocket-money as their small share of the family-wealth just as they should share the workload at home. Super Nanny - A Users Guide to Watching Super Nanny There are many things to like about the television show Super Nanny that has captured the public interest in recent weeks.First, the nanny character is very likeable, if a little scary at times. Are You Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child? Although many parents are concerned with our children's intelligence quotient (IQ), research shows that a child's emotional quotient (EQ) is just as important for that child's personal success. So what is Emotional Intelligence? Emotional quotient is your child's ability to feel, while intelligence quotient is your child's ability to think. God Dont Like Rich People I will never forget the day that my daughter's sixth grade friend told me that. We had been discussing someone who had recently lost a fortune and had become very bitter as a result. Life Lessons Learned in My Underwear For several years now, I've told the following story as a keynote presentation when I do speaking engagements:When our oldest son was a toddler and teething heavily, he woke up one morning at 4 screaming and crying. My wife nudged me as a reminder that it was my turn to get up with him. How To Teach Your Children Courage Courage means doing the right thing when it is hard, even when it means being called a "chicken" by others.A person with courage dares to attempt difficult things that are good. Car Wash Fundraiser Preparation Are you considering a car wash fundraiser for your group? We all no it is getting harder and harder to raise the funds for non-profit groups these days. Especially kids groups such as youth groups, sports teams, high school bands and scouts. Nothing Like a Mothers Love Travel is a common theme in my life -- probably started with the family vacation we took every year when I was young. But in all my travels, I have seen another universal theme, a common symbol of unity, love and Peace. The Secret To Keeping Kids Interested on Family Vacations Vacations and trips are great family events, but how do you keep kids interested and busy during the down times? Have them keep journals of the trips and their impressions.Writing JournalsTake a minute to give some consideration to your most recent family vacation. Breastfeeding, Its My Right My name is Duncan and I'm 2 years old. I want to thank my Mommy and Daddy for choosing breastmilk as my only food for my first six months. Gifts From The Heart: Moms Remember... To the untrained eye, it might look like a piece of bubble gum stuck to a safety pin; a pink chewed mass mistakenly rescued from the trash years before. However, to its owner, this cherished keepsake is a bejeweled treasure-still worn with extreme pride.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
