| |
| |
|
Parenting Information |
|
|
|
Spanking Children
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Results of the Spanking Poll on Rexanne.com: Voters - 233 Percentage of readers who do not spank their children: 37% Percentage of readers who spank their children: 62% ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I am completely opposed to spanking. I know that almost twice as many of you spank your children as don't. At the risk of alienating 62 percent of my subscribers, I cannot, in good conscience, keep my opinions to myself. ;-) I feel we have evolved enough as a society to understand that violence breeds violence. Hitting is physically violent. So is spanking. I do not believe spanking children teaches them to mind their parents or caretakers any better than other forms of constructive discipline. If it is unacceptable to hit an adult, what makes it acceptable to hit a child? Taking into consideration the parent or caretaker is most likely three times the size of the child, doesn't this bring up issues of bullying? Many of the comments left on the spanking poll mentioned a biblical reference, "Spare the rod, spoil the child." When we consider that the bible was written thousands of years ago, we must also take into consideration that we may have advanced to the point where biblical interpretations are probably not to be taken as literally as they once were. I do not believe parents should spank their children into submission, any more than I believe criminals should be stoned to death by the masses, as was the custom so many years ago. Many parents (myself included) have neglected to replace spanking with another solid form of discipline. Refraining from spanking our kids does not negate disciplining them. We have created a generation of children without boundaries in our zeal to adopt a kinder, gentler parenting style. While I am thoroughly delighted that many parents have decided not to spank their children, I am saddened by the lack of respect for authority in so many children today. Without limits, children are insecure, always testing the boundaries ... begging to be corralled for their own safety. In removing physical punishment, we need to find a healthy replacement. Another comment mentioned often in the spanking poll had to do with spanking a child "out of love." I think this means the parent is disciplining their child because they love them. Yes, by all means, discipline your child when needed. My only request is that you consider not raising a hand or your voice to them in order to accomplish this. My methods have been to remove a privilege, after a warning. It might not be the best form of imposing limits on children but it works pretty well with my daughters ... most of the time. ;-) One interesting comment was from a mother who said she only spanked her child when the kid was outright defiant. Well, you know, I wanted to consider that option for about two seconds! When my older daughter is defiant, my immediate instinct is to smack her ... but I don't. She is now an inch taller than I am and almost outweighs me. Not a good time to start swatting her butt. She'd either laugh at me or hit me back. Neither option seems conducive to maintaining authority! As much as that option sounded tempting, it is not the answer. If we are to grow as a people, we need to adopt more humane methods of teaching our children to behave. The comment that disturbed me most was from parents who said they did not spank their child "right away." The child is told they are going to be spanked while the parent goes somewhere else to "calm down" before doling out the dreaded punishment. Sorry, this one gives me the willies. To me, this is a method of psychological torture. Imagining a small child, probably a toddler (or an adolescent reduced to a toddler's fears) in this situation tears at my heart. If I were a child, waiting patiently for a spanking, I think I would seriously consider running away. Why stick around for a parent who is going to come back, irrationally calm in the face of my utter terror, and let them hurt me? I do not think this is a good idea, no matter what the circumstance. I would rather see a parent swat a kid on the butt from sheer frustration, as in the situation with a defiant child, than meditate on it a while and then do the deed. I'm sure I have just contradicted parenting advice many of you have heard by experts. These experts do not rate one inch in my life. I cannot imagine a competent child psychologist thinking that this is OK. I am 100% committed to a no-spanking philosophy. I believe spanking will be outlawed in most countries within a few years. This practice has been a traditional tool of discipline for far too long. Please, my dearest readers who do not share my opinion, I ask that you consider the alternatives. Many parents spank, simply for lack of a better solution. There are other solutions. It's not always easy, I know. Spanking is probably the easiest method of momentarily whipping a child in line, however, if we are armed with alternate choices that really work, we will be better parents. Copyright 2000 - 2005 - Rexanne Mancini Rexanne Mancini is the mother of two daughters, Justice and Liberty. She is a novelist, freelance writer and maintains an extensive yet informal parenting and family web site, Rexanne.com - http://www.rexanne.com -Visit her site for good advice, award-winning Internet holiday pages and some humor to help you cope. Subscribe to her free newsletter, Rexanne's Web Review, for a monthly dose of Rexanne: http://www.rexanne.com/rwr-archives.html
MORE RESOURCES:
Parenting - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Treatment Options for ADHD Ritalin has been shown through the years to be very effective in the treatment of Attention Deficit Disorder symptoms. Although it has potential side-effects which many families would like to avoid, we have seen it help a lot of people. March of the Penguins - A Fun Learnig Tool Everyone loves penguins. And now, everyone has a chance to see how penguins live in the highly entertaining documentary March of the Penguins. Mommie Moments - Taking Time For Yourself Being a parent is a role that requires a large majority of our attention and time. Whether you have one child or fourteen children, you are more than likely aware that personal time is at a minimal. Bird Flu Pandemic What are the easiest things citizens can do to prevent spreading in an epidemic outbreak in America of a virus. There are many things you can do and warn your kids not to do; for instance tell your children; Do not touch handrails in public places and buses. Grandparents! Help Your Grandkids Do Math! This may come as a surprise.But despite all the advances in education, many kids stillstruggle in the math class. Parenting Skills - Five Ways To Turbo-Boost Your Confidence The 'phone conversation had nothing at all to do withparenting - but it made me think . . Stop, Look, Listen! Steps to Better Parenting Communication As a parent is seems that the majority of your day is spent trying to get your children to listen to what you are trying to teach them. Make them understand how to me a responsible child. Understanding A Childs Beliefs, Nuturing Young Beliefs Children are moral and make moral determinations.. Son, Can I Use The Car Tonight? I recall somewhere in the recesses of my aging brain a time past when kids actually asked to borrow the family car for the evening. Heck, I even recall myself uttering that request to my folks many times. An Overview of Alternative Treatments for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Since so many would rather avoid the use of stimulant medications for the treatment of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder if possible, a growing need for the development of alternative treatments for ADD ADHD has developed over the past twenty years. Although there are many products that claim to help any child with ADD ADHD, the truth is that there are only a few non-medication treatments for attention deficit disorder that have actually undergone even the simplest of clinical trials. How Illiteracy Can Ruin Your Childs Life It may seem obvious to many people why literacy is so important in our technologically advanced society. However, many parents may not fully realize the emotional pain and life-long damage illiteracy can cause their children. Play the Ball, Not the Man! As parents and teachers, sometimes we want to praise, at other times we need to rebuke. Either way, how do we put our point across with maximum effectiveness? Adults entrusted with the character training of children have few weapons in their armory as powerful as praise. How to Make a Time Capsule Looking for an unusual and memorable gift? Why not preserve a slice of history by creating a time capsule for your loved one?A personalized time capsule can be made for any special event, such as a birthday, wedding anniversary, graduation or even the birth of a child. Your personally designed time capsule preserves history, popular culture, special memories and can help link generations of a family together. Where to Look for Affordable Baby Clothes Once the newness has worn off a little, you will realize that your baby grows very fast. So fast, in fact, that he may need new clothes on the average of every two months during the first year. Intermission: Wood Chips I wanted to share with you one of the most valuable lessons my daughter taught me when she was sixteen-months-old. I call this essay, "Cherish Your Wood Chips. Super Nanny - A Users Guide to Watching Super Nanny There are many things to like about the television show Super Nanny that has captured the public interest in recent weeks.First, the nanny character is very likeable, if a little scary at times. Violence in Media In the news, we hear and see an increasing number of reports about violence among children. This goes from rude fights on the playground to armed incidents in schools that result in injuries or even casualties. Defrazzle with a Hearty Guffaw "The best blush to use is laughter: It put roses in your cheeks and in your soul."Linda KnightWe all know the old adage that "Laugher is the best medicine" - but what does that mean, actually?Well, research has shown that laughing can help in:* Lowering blood pressure* Reducing stress hormones* Increasing muscle flexibility* Boosting immune function* Triggering the release of endorphins, the body's natural painkillers* Producing a general sense of well-being. True Romance for Couples with Kids: 10 Inexpensive Ideas Anyone can splurge on a formal dinner or a pricey bottle of perfume, but it takes creativity and forethought to be truly romantic.The key lies in personalizing your celebration. Single Parenting: How The Challenge Of Single Parenting Affects Your Decision To Divorce Single parenting has seemingly become an acceptable norm which is unfortunate. According to the US Census Bureau, there were over 20 million single parents in the United States in the year 2000.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
.jpg){kind=small}
